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Protein Freakshakes & How To Make Them

All About Protein Freakshakes

You know, you can’t just put the word protein in front of something and expect it to be healthy! That being said, the protein freakshake does sound like an amazing twist on the most decadent dessert in existence. Let’s learn all there is to know about the protein freakshake. 

What is a Freakshake?

Freakshakes appear to have become a thing in Australia about five years ago. They are milkshakes that have had all manner of delicious treats added to them. Whipped cream, cake, sprinkles, brownies, fruit, chocolate sauces. Any dessert topping that you can think of. If you don’t think that somebody has put an entire apple pie on top of a milkshake and posted it on Instagram, then do you even use the internet?

The freakshake is usually served in a mason jar, because of course it is, with a straw jammed through a slice of cake (and probably some jam), and after 50 photos and ten filters it is enjoyed by coffee shop customers and socialites. 

If the last paragraph sounds bitter, it’s just because we don’t have our own freakshake in front of us. They’re amazing, indulgent, and just another example of Australia dominating another country’s invention (cricket, rugby, milkshakes, soap operas). 

One thing that a freakshake absolutely is not though is high in protein. So, is there a protein version of the freakshake? Of course, there is

The Protein Freakshake

When you think about it, the humble protein shake can be a tad safe. Water, milk, or nut milk, mixed with protein powder and drunk out of a plastic shaker. Sure, it’s delicious, highly nutritious, and can help with building muscle, losing weight, and recovering from exercise. But is it instagrammable? No. Not unless you are drinking it while wearing lycra and already have 20,000 followers. 

Other than decadence and calorie content, there aren’t too many differences between a protein shake and a milk shake. So why can’t there be a protein shake version of a freakshake? There are two ways to go about making your own protein freakshake.

  1. Make a highly decadent, indulgent, and delicious freakshake but use a protein shake instead of a regular milkshake. Sure, it will still be massively high in calories, but at least you’re getting your protein in.
  2. Turn a freakshake into a healthy shake by using only high protein foods to decorate your protein shake. Protein cookies, zero-calorie syrups, fruit, protein brownies. You get the idea.

Both options are great, and depend on what your goals are, or how much you fancy a freakshake. Neither option is going to be healthy or helpful to your diet (not even the high protein version), but life is not always about doing what’s right. 

Calories in a Protein Freakshake

It is almost impossible to say how many calories there are in a protein freakshake because no two protein freakshakes are made the same. That’s kind of the point. We’ve seen recipes that are as low as 200 calories per serving, and calories that are as high as 600 or 700. Some protein freakshakes have more calories than regular freakshakes!

How to Make Your Own Protein Freakshake

For our protein freakshake we are going to use Protein Works ingredients to deliver a delicious dessert that provides all the protein you could ask for. 

  • 2 scoops Whey Protein 360
  • Semi-skimmed milk 250-300ml
  • Ice Cubes

Blitz all three ingredients in a blender to create your milkshake and then pour into a mason jar.

  • Low calorie (or regular) whipped cream
  • Protein Cookie
  • Loaded Legend Bar
  • Salted Caramel Zero Syrup

Spray your whipped cream over the top of the milkshake, then break up a protein cookie and a loaded legend protein bar into small bitesize pieces and place on top of the whipped cream. Cover your freakshake with our salted caramel zero calorie syrup.

To create a vegan version of this you can swap the whey protein for our vegan protein shake, swap the semi-skimmed milk for a nut milk, and then swap the loaded legend bar and cookie for our Ridiculous Vegan Protein Bar. The zero calorie syrup is vegan-friendly so you can keep that. Many supermarkets now sell a vegan whipped cream option, or you can make your own following this recipe from Nora Cooks

Final Thoughts

Freakshakes are not healthy, no matter how much protein you add to them. But that is okay, not everything has to be healthy or “good for you”. Sometimes it is nice to eat something delicious and enjoy yourself. At least a protein freakshake is going to be slightly better for you than a regular one, and it will keep you feeling fuller for longer due to the satiating effect of protein.

Take out the protein cookie and loaded legends bar and you’ve not got too unhealthy a dessert here anyway. Protein powder and semi-skimmed milk is pretty standard, ice cubes are fine (obviously), and low calorie whipped cream isn’t too bad. Protein cookies and legend bars are much better than regular treats, but still a treat.